I can't sleep . . . a lot of things are in my head- its about my future. I made the decision NOT TO PROCEED to MEDICINE but there seems to be some hesitations. I just came from a party at Lester's house and met some of my classmates in College. We talked about Med School and told them about my decision. I felt partly insecure knowing that they (classmates) are 100% sure and firm in achieving their long time goal- to become a DOCTOR.
Am I really sure of my decision? Honestly I am still confused.
Being a Doctor has been a goal of mine since I entered College. My mind was programmed and thought to be geared towards Medicine. I often say to myself, " I will be a good doctor in the future". Being a Medical Technologist (only?) was never been an option in the past. I even criticized the nature of the work as "boring". I was really sure and determined to be a doctor then.
Now, right after passing the Local Board Examination, I came to a selfless decision of giving up my long time goal. I want to give relief to my parents. I want to be independent financially as soon as possible. I want them to save their salary for their own. I want them to enjoy their remaining life happy and allow them to visit places they wished to. I felt the responsibility of giving back what was been provided to me. I want them to relax by now since they are already nearing their retirement age.
Will I be happy with this decision? Will I not regret this? Life is not like a movie that we can press rewind. There's no turning back indeed.
I hope God is leading me as to what he has planned for me.
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